Live life to the Max

The beer selection in my local supermarket can be a little bit boring, I must admit. It tends to stock the same selection of beer month in, month out, with a few extra ones appearing at Christmas time. Imagine my surprise and unbridled delight when, a week or two ago, I discovered a completely new beer which I had never tried before, which even originated from my favourite Munich brewery, inconspicuously placed between the known and the very well-known stuff on the shelves.

Augustiner Bräu, which traces its history as far back as 1328, is arguably Munich's finest surviving brewery. There are a number of reasons for this. First and foremost, their beers tend to be of high quality. Second, it is the only one of Munich's big breweries which is still privately owned. Third, there are lots of lovely beer gardens where you can enjoy their brews on a warm summer’s day. Fourth, they haven’t changed the labels on their bottles in more than 20 years. Fifth, they supplied the beers that I enjoyed, somewhat excessively, at last year’s Oktoberfest.

The Doppelbock (double bock) style of beer is a style of beer that originated in Germany when the monks in various monasteries simultaneously realized that they where starving and in dire need of something a bit more nourishing than water to sustain them through the ridiculously long fasting period known as Lent. Therefore, they invented a new beer, full of malt, flavour and alcohol, which could be used almost as a substitute for bread and certainly as a substitute for famine-induced madness, but came in fluid form and was consequently allowed to be consumed. This style was eventually picked up by several German breweries, mainly in Bavaria, and developed into what is now recognized as the Doppelbock style.

It is hard to overstate how wonderful this type of beer really is, but I will nevertheless give it a try. Imagine that you’re in a restaurant with more Michelin stars than tables, and that you’ve just received the second course, which happens to be a concoction of all your favourite ingredients. Sharing this meal with your favourite person, you take a bite and realize that this dish is by far the best thing you’ve ever tasted, blending the flavours of the ingredients to ultimate perfection. Even then, should the waiter pour you a Doppelbock, you’d immediately forget the meal, your favourite person and the astronomical bill once you've taken the first sip of this lovely beer. Put simply, it’s like multiple orgasms in a bottle.

The beer mysteriously disappeared before the camera could take the picture

There are many breweries that brew this type of beer. Given the introduction to this blog post, you won’t be surprised to learn that Augustiner is one of them. However, the brewery that lays claim to brew the original is another Munich institution, namely Paulaner. Their beer is called “Salvator”, which allegedly is Latin for “yum”, and this has caused most of the versions brewed here in Germany to adopt names that end with “-ator”. There are, to name but a few, a Celebrator, an Optimator, a Terminator, a Consecrator and an Alligator. The one I just enjoyed, though, is called “Maximator”, and the second thing that won’t surprise you is the fact that I enjoyed it very much. It is brown, malty, slightly sweet, beautifully balanced, has a wonderfully rich and smooth mouth feel, and finally an aftertaste that lingers longer than a Libyan leader. If only Mick Jagger had had a Maximator in the fridge then perhaps he’d have got some satisfaction after all.

OK, I realize that I like beer ever so slightly more than the average person, and I’ve also written this unrestrained celebration of a beer with a very strong bias caused by being under the influence of said beer’s alcohol, which clocked in at a respectable 8% or so. All I can think about when I’m not concentrating on finding the keys on my keyboard, which have mysteriously decided to move around randomly, is that I would really like another one. This may take a little while since the shop won’t open for another 10 hours or so. I think I’ll go and pitch a tent outside, just in case a queue starts building as soon as I post this. Good night and sleep tight!

It's Bock o'clock!

It's time to write a bit about my favourite subject: beer. And not just any beer, but a beer most people never drink or possibly haven't even heard of, yet a beer so delicious and tasty it makes you wonder why you bother drinking anything else. I am obviously talking about Bock.

The Bock beer style originates, according to Wikipedia and just about every book I own (except, oddly, "Catch 22"), in the German Hanseatic town of Einbeck. From there it mysteriously drifted upstream to Munich where the jolly townfolk liked it quite a lot. In the local Munich dialect, Einbeck sounded a bit like "Ein Bock", which in German means "a billy goat", so the name was swiftly shortened to "Bock".

This was hundreds of years ago, so I suspect that today's Bocks taste a bit different, and very likely much better. Nevertheless, Bock is a recognized beer style in Germany and elsewhere. There are many different interpretations of the style, but the one thing they all have in common is alcoholic strength. These brews very seldom clock in at under 7% alcohol, yet are very easy to drink, frequently resulting in unsuspecting drinkers losing control of their legs, bladders, livers and other essential drinking organs.

Bock is almost always a darkish beer, though the colour can vary from amber to dark brown. It's malty with some sweetness on the palate, which may or may not be balanced with a generous helping of hops, though the hops will never dominate. The best full-bodied variants induce a feeling of extreme well-being, not just because they get you tipsy rather quickly, but also because the taste is rich and satisfying. It should certainly not be served straight from the fridge (unless the fridge is broken) because the Bock tastes best around 12 degrees or so. Of course, it is pretty much impossible to leave it out of the fridge for several minutes to warm up once you've decided to have one, so I usually pour it into a glass and warm it up carefully with a blowtorch.

In Drammen, Norway - where I grew up - the wonderful Aass brewery has for very many years brewed a Bock which has actually won considerable international recognition. It is, if my memory serves me right, quite a sweet, but well-balanced variant, and it probably explains to a large extent why I was pretty happy during my teenage years, though my memory - unlike the beer - is a little bit hazy for some reason. According to legend (also known as Michael Jackson), the beer goes really well with creamy cakes.

Here in Germany the whole country goes bananas in early spring, because that's when the breweries release their Maybock beers. This is a very long tradition, and it stems from the fact that brewing used to be impossible during the hot summer months, so the breweries needed to brew something so strong that everyone would stay drunk until autumn. If you happen to be in Germany in April or May, you can pretty much get on any local train that takes you to place you've never heard of such as Schweinfart, Bad Kissingen or Rimsting and be pretty sure that there's a Bock beer festival going on. German festivals are great fun. They all involve extensive beer drinking in huge tents coupled with singing traditional folk songs that have equally traditional Europop disco beats whilst merrily slapping your thighs and dancing on benches that tend to collapse at regular intervals.

If that isn't enough for you to go bockers, then the Germans have, not being satisfied with a mere 7% beer, invented a style called Doppelbock (literally "Double Bock"). Guess how strong it is? Yes, that's correct, it's typically between 8% and 9%. The name actually comes from the gravity of the beer, which is the invisible force that pulls you to the ground once you've had one too many. Doppelbocks are typically released in the middle of winter and given names that end in "-ator" such as "Salvator", "Celebrator" and "Terminator". These brews are not just absolutely delicious, they are also incredibly dangerous, which is why you have to buy a special insurance before being allowed to drink one, just like you have to have insurance for your car before you're allowed to drive. Actually, that's a lie. But perhaps a good business idea.

Anyway, to round off this long post I would like to encourage you to run to your nearest alcoholic beverage outlet to get some exercise. Once you're there, you might as well stock up on some great Bock beers if they're available, or move to a different country if they're not, and keep them in the cellar for special occasions such as breakfast, lunch and dinner. You won't regret it, at least not until the next day.