Every so often, I just have to sit down and see what
happens. I don’t mean on the toilet – that’s much more predictable – I mean in
front of the PC, with a blank sheet of virtual paper in front of me, a couple
of beers down the hatch already, and another one sitting nicely in the glass,
just waiting for me to nip into it. I guess I’ve had a bit of blogger’s block
lately, which explains a very long dry patch where little or nothing has been
written despite a serious amount of beer drinking going on. What can I say?
Well, nothing, since this is a blog.
Now then. As you can tell, I’m off-piste and slightly pissed
(in the British sense of the word) here. The title of this blog post is
actually a play on a very famous ultra-patriotic British song with a great
sing-along tune. Every year in London, there’s this thing called the Proms
Series, which culminates in the Last Night of the Proms, a pretty grand
spectacle in the Royal Albert Hall where people from seemingly all over the
world come together to sing a selection of the most British songs you can
imagine, including “Rule Britannia!” and the one I have shamelessly mangled for
the title here. I kind of like the idea of Germans or Norwegians or whatever
travelling to London to sing along to these tunes. What does this have to do
with beer, I hear you scream? Nothing, my friends, absolutely nothing. It does
however, bring me nicely on to the main topic of this blog post: beer.
The United Kingdom is a country which consists of Britain
and Northern Ireland, and Britain is an island consisting of the three
countries England, Scotland and Wales (in order of population) or Scotland,
Wales and England (in order of highest mountain). I spent 13 years of my life
living in England, and I guess this is where I really learnt to love beer. When
I arrived in 1996 things were not so great. Most pubs had a few beers on tap,
some of which were so-called “continental lagers”, most often Carlsberg,
Kronenbourg or Stella Artois, all of which tasted very little if you were lucky,
or a bit like industrial waste if you were not. A few pubs also had English
traditional beers, commonly referred to as “bitter”, which were a bit better – though many of these were, unfortunately, poorly kept, and together with the fact that
they were lukewarm and flat it took a little while before I grew to like this
style of beer.
Being born in the early 70s turned out to be one of the
cleverest things I ever did. Not only did this mean that I grew up before the
internet and mobile phones, which means that there are loads of things I can
enjoy that young people today don’t even understand (and no, I’m not referring
to analogue porn), but most of all it means that I have experienced almost the
entire beer revolution that’s swept the planet, from the first tiny experimental
breweries to the recent explosion of choice both in terms of new and crazy beer
styles and in terms of variety in pubs and supermarkets. USA led the way here,
but England wasn’t far behind, and I was delighted to experience the biggest
expansion in quality and quantity of beer in modern and ancient times.
The traditional beer style in Britain is ale. This means a
top-fermented brew, which typically gets more of its taste from the yeast than the
bottom-fermented varieties do. Furthermore, since the beer has less carbonation
and is served at a higher temperature than most beers elsewhere in the world,
it is actually possible to taste quite a few different flavours, such as gun powder, treason and plot. Or was that a poem? I forget. Anyway, where many
countries have generally regarded beer as something that has to be ice cold and
fizzy, the Brits have always hung on to the notion that beer should taste of
something, probably because the weather is generally rubbish. To cut a very long
story short – Britain is nowadays a fantastic place to drink beer. If you choose
your pub wisely, you will get some of the best beers in the world in your
glass, and you get to drink the beer in one of the nicest environments
imaginable, namely the Great British Pub.
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| Classic English Pub |
You may not be surprised to hear that I spent a great deal
of time in the pubs when I lived in England. Normally, it happened a bit like
this: someone would say that it was a “special occasion”, or it was Friday, or
some other day of the week, or it was a rare sunny day, or it was cold and
rainy, or there was some other great excuse, and we’d head down to some pub for
“a swift half” or “a couple of pints”. This would usually lead to an all-night
session where we’d sit and drink beer and talk bollocks continuously for
however many hours we had until the barman called “last orders” at 11pm, at
which point we’d all shuffle out and head home. This may sound like a terrible
idea during the week, but it was actually pretty OK due to the fact that
British beer tends to be a bit weaker than the continental ones (around 4% instead
of 5.5%), so even after half a dozen pints I could survive the next day at
work.
I do miss those days. I don’t spend nearly as much time in
the pub these days – I guess the culture here in Germany is slightly different,
though there are places and times, especially on weekends and during the
summer, when it comes close. I guess I am phenomenally lucky to live in a day
and age where it is actually possible for a Norwegian to move around Europe and
live in different countries in order to drink beer, and it is sad to see that
Britain and other countries are taking steps to become less open to us
foreigners. Much as I respect the right of any nation to decide its own
future, I also think that the best way to avoid sliding towards a situation
where war is no longer unthinkable is to encourage people from as many nations
as possible to spend as much time as they can in the pub together whilst drinking good beer. On
this thoughtful note I shall wish you all a happy 2017 even though a large
chunk of it is already behind us, and hope that I will meet all of you in some
pub or other somewhere in the world, where we can say “CHEERS BIG EARS” and
clink glasses. I can’t think of a better plan to save the planet than that, at least not right now.
