It's Bock o'clock!

It's time to write a bit about my favourite subject: beer. And not just any beer, but a beer most people never drink or possibly haven't even heard of, yet a beer so delicious and tasty it makes you wonder why you bother drinking anything else. I am obviously talking about Bock.

The Bock beer style originates, according to Wikipedia and just about every book I own (except, oddly, "Catch 22"), in the German Hanseatic town of Einbeck. From there it mysteriously drifted upstream to Munich where the jolly townfolk liked it quite a lot. In the local Munich dialect, Einbeck sounded a bit like "Ein Bock", which in German means "a billy goat", so the name was swiftly shortened to "Bock".

This was hundreds of years ago, so I suspect that today's Bocks taste a bit different, and very likely much better. Nevertheless, Bock is a recognized beer style in Germany and elsewhere. There are many different interpretations of the style, but the one thing they all have in common is alcoholic strength. These brews very seldom clock in at under 7% alcohol, yet are very easy to drink, frequently resulting in unsuspecting drinkers losing control of their legs, bladders, livers and other essential drinking organs.

Bock is almost always a darkish beer, though the colour can vary from amber to dark brown. It's malty with some sweetness on the palate, which may or may not be balanced with a generous helping of hops, though the hops will never dominate. The best full-bodied variants induce a feeling of extreme well-being, not just because they get you tipsy rather quickly, but also because the taste is rich and satisfying. It should certainly not be served straight from the fridge (unless the fridge is broken) because the Bock tastes best around 12 degrees or so. Of course, it is pretty much impossible to leave it out of the fridge for several minutes to warm up once you've decided to have one, so I usually pour it into a glass and warm it up carefully with a blowtorch.

In Drammen, Norway - where I grew up - the wonderful Aass brewery has for very many years brewed a Bock which has actually won considerable international recognition. It is, if my memory serves me right, quite a sweet, but well-balanced variant, and it probably explains to a large extent why I was pretty happy during my teenage years, though my memory - unlike the beer - is a little bit hazy for some reason. According to legend (also known as Michael Jackson), the beer goes really well with creamy cakes.

Here in Germany the whole country goes bananas in early spring, because that's when the breweries release their Maybock beers. This is a very long tradition, and it stems from the fact that brewing used to be impossible during the hot summer months, so the breweries needed to brew something so strong that everyone would stay drunk until autumn. If you happen to be in Germany in April or May, you can pretty much get on any local train that takes you to place you've never heard of such as Schweinfart, Bad Kissingen or Rimsting and be pretty sure that there's a Bock beer festival going on. German festivals are great fun. They all involve extensive beer drinking in huge tents coupled with singing traditional folk songs that have equally traditional Europop disco beats whilst merrily slapping your thighs and dancing on benches that tend to collapse at regular intervals.

If that isn't enough for you to go bockers, then the Germans have, not being satisfied with a mere 7% beer, invented a style called Doppelbock (literally "Double Bock"). Guess how strong it is? Yes, that's correct, it's typically between 8% and 9%. The name actually comes from the gravity of the beer, which is the invisible force that pulls you to the ground once you've had one too many. Doppelbocks are typically released in the middle of winter and given names that end in "-ator" such as "Salvator", "Celebrator" and "Terminator". These brews are not just absolutely delicious, they are also incredibly dangerous, which is why you have to buy a special insurance before being allowed to drink one, just like you have to have insurance for your car before you're allowed to drive. Actually, that's a lie. But perhaps a good business idea.

Anyway, to round off this long post I would like to encourage you to run to your nearest alcoholic beverage outlet to get some exercise. Once you're there, you might as well stock up on some great Bock beers if they're available, or move to a different country if they're not, and keep them in the cellar for special occasions such as breakfast, lunch and dinner. You won't regret it, at least not until the next day.